I am sharing a guest entry by Ashley Seibel, a new member of the Lift Team. I am thankful for her  insight and wisdom!

“I see you” - from the movie Avatar

In the movie Avatar the locals who are big and blue have a deep spiritual life and upon meeting one another sometimes say “I see you.” It means more than simply seeing someone. When children play hide and seek around the house or yard, they find their friend and say “I see you” or “I found you.” Parents playing peek a boo with babies say “I see you” when they uncover their eyes and make a face at the child.

To see something can mean you physically see it and that you understand a concept or some information. When getting an explanation about how the pistons in the car work, you might say “I see.” You get it. You understand the idea and image the other person is conveying to you. I've also heard people say “I'm not seeing it,” when someone is sharing a vision or grand plan. The hearer or observer can't visualize what the other is talking about. There's a disconnect there that isn't being bridged. However, in Avatar, when they say they see one another it seems to mean they do indeed see the other physically, yet more importantly also on a spiritual level. They see who the other is in their soul. What they care about. The things that are deep in the heart and not only on the surface. The things that make someone tick, their passions, gifts, and talents. It's much more than simply seeing a face or an idea.

I think this is how God sees us. He sees our hearts and knows all of our thoughts. 1 Samuel 16:7b says “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (NIV). Like the movie quote, God knows where the important stuff is. It's not on the surface, but deeper. Scripture also says in Proverbs 4:23 “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (NIV). Who we are is rooted in our heart and soul.

What application does this have for us as mentors, friends, and Christians who are commissioned to love others? Christ, who we are on a journey to become more like, looks at hearts. Even when someone sins greatly or turns away from Christ all together, He sees their hearts and knows their every longing and hurt. He cares about them and each of their dreams as He does yours and mine. To grow to be more Christlike, we as followers and disciples can focus less on outer appearances and more on the heart. Try not to form quick impressions and judgments, and look carefully to really see a person and what's going on in their lives. What they care about and hope for. We live in a society that is fast and efficient. Fast and efficient don't serve us well in getting to know someone and discovering who they are and how we can come along side them. Seeing someone’s heart and walking with them is a process and will take some time and effort on our parts.

Even though effort is required and many of us are low on time and effort, the practice of looking deeper is essential and also gives us a fresh glimpse of how God sees you and me: with grace and forgiveness and hope.

Ideas on how to do see below the surface:

• Say a prayer asking the Holy Spirit to give you eyes to see and ears to hear before talking to someone.
• Be unattached to outcome and simply listen. Suspend your impressions, judgments, and need to fix and intervene. Many people don't necessarily want you to fix them, but to hear them. Being heard and listened to is a great gift you can give.

The Importance of Being Real

We all know that there is a human need to connect with others. We want to feel that we are a part of a bigger purpose, to love and be loved. And yet, in reality, how does that honestly roll out in our lives?

My Life Group os doing a study called Freeway, by The People of the Second Chance. This week, we discovered quite by chance, that many of us really don't tell anyone our deepest fears and worries. As I thought about this for myself, I wondered how it is that we, as mature Christians, can fall into this funk. Really, I think it has a lot to do with that risky business of Trust. Who do we trust enough to share our Junk with? 

As Mentors, you will encounter this over and over again. Getting to know the person you mentoring on a deep and personal level is essential to building trust. Ask honest, interested questions and get into the little nooks and crannies of their life..and let them know thatit doesn't matter what they say or might say--promise that you will still show unconditional grace- along with truth-to them. It is then that the person you are mentoring can really begin to know what Jesus' love for us all is really like!

Boomerang back to that thought about who YOU trust enough to share your junk with...Check in with yourself. Think deeply about it and make a commitment to share your innermost thoughts on a regular basis with someone you trust. Then, go out and do it. You will be glad you did!

Mentors and Second Chances

This is a post that appeared on the People of the Second Chance Website and Eric shared it with us...thought I would share with all of you!

MENTORS & SECOND CHANCES

By Elisabeth Corcoran:
I had known this woman for a few years simply as the mother of one of my best friends.  I knew a bit of her hard story, but only as it pertained to her daughter (my friend). Then my world started falling apart, one huge piece at a time.  I was lost.  The ways I had been living my life and getting through each of my days as a wife, mom, writer, speaker, social justice advocate, church staffer were no longer working.
My life was imploding and I literally did not know what to do.
So I asked my friend if she’d be okay with me borrowing her mom.  Her mother’s life had taken some similar twists and turns and I thought she could point me in the right direction.  It’ll just be one conversation, probably…maybe two, I assured her.  My friend graciously obliged.
So I emailed Charlotte and asked if I could come over, that I had some things on my mind and could I get her take on them.  If she only knew…
I showed up at her home.  She had classical music playing, a candle lit.  There were tissues sitting out, just in case.  Her Bible.  And there was a glass of water with a small plate of apple slices next to it.  She was ready.
And I began talking.  And talking.  And talking. I cried through telling her, as quickly and succinctly as I could, how my life was indeed falling completely apart and how I had no earthly idea how I was going to go on.  I asked her what she thought.  I asked her for help.
People, this is one of the best decisions I have ever made.  You must understand that I have amazing girlfriends. And I have been to nine – yes, count ‘em, nine – counselors. But having the courage to bare my soul to my friend’s mother and then, listen carefully, ask her for help was one of my wisest moves.
She told me she understood what I was saying.
She told me that she heard me.
She told me that this sounded all so very hard.
She read a Psalm to me.
She prayed with me and for me.
And she ended with this: she told me she had a few ideas of some things she and I could work on together, if I wanted to do that.  One of the best life decisions I ever made was saying yes.
That was five years ago.  Five years of talks on that couch.  Of tears.  Of prayers.  Of emails. Of movies.  Of eating take-out on her porch.  Of her hand on my forehead as she gives me a blessing.  Of listening, suggesting, correcting.  Of her love and grace.
I felt hopeless when I walked into her home that first time.  But she opened up her life and her pain and her heart and poured into me.  And I walked out filled with hope, that I would make it through, that I would be okay…that I would be, if I dared to believe it, more than okay.  That God saw me and would do something good in my mess.
I had felt like all my chances were up.  She reminded me that, as it turns out, my chances will never run out.
Elisabeth Klein Corcoran is the author of Unraveling: Hanging Onto Faith Through the End of a Christian Marriage, and writes at www.elisabethcorcoran.com.

Developing Healthy Boundaries

How do I help others and still stay healthy in my own life?
 
Developing and maintaining boundaries in your ministry is not easy, but it will definitely prove beneficial, especially from your family's perspective. We'd like to recommend just few ideas on developing boundaries in ministry (although the list could be pages long).

It would be wise to ask yourself several questions as you perform the various aspects of your ministry, whether it be mentoring, spending extra time with a hurting friend, or going to yet another church activity.

1. Is there someone else who could do a better job of completing the task I am working on right now?
2. Am I trying to be too many things to too many people? Remember that there was only one Messiah and He died and rose again 2,000 years ago. You are not Him.
3. When is the last time I spent quality time with my spouse and/or children? Am I maintaining a dating relationship with my spouse? Am I involved in my kids' lives? Am I having fun with them? Do they enjoy the fact that I am their dad or mom?
4. How is my walk with the Lord? Am I staying open to Him? Spending time with Him on a regular basis? Maintaining a vibrant prayer life?
5. Is my life a total outflow? We should all be immersed in ministry, but even Jesus took regular breaks to rest and reflect.
6. When was the last time I took some vacation time? A weekend off? Am I making time to have regular exercise? Am I taking care of myself physically? Take a walk. Play a round of frisbee golf. Make a healthy habit of doing things that help you relax and unwind.
7. Am I learning how to say 'no'? We cannot do everything asked of us. We need to stay close to the Lord so that we can discern how He wants us to most effectively spend each of our days.

Who Am I?

"Over time, You've healed so much in me and I am living proof 
That although my darkest hour had come, 
Your light could still shine through, 
And though at times it's just enough to cast a shadow on the wall 
Well, I am grateful that You shined Your light on me at all.
 Who am I? That You would love me so gently? Who am I?
…That You would recognize my name?

 Lord, who am I? …that You would speak to me so softly? 

Conversation with the Love most high,
Who am I?"              -Nathan and Christy Nockels


You might be wondering, why would God want to use me? Why would he want to use someone as messed up and imperfect..what in the world could I offer to someone who is hurting and in need of a mentor?
Well... there are a hundred reasons why! It is in our imperfections that God sees beauty - that wonderful place where He can begin to work inside of us and when that happens - and you know what that feels like, because I know He has begun that mighty work in you - and He twists and turns our mind and drive to do something for him. You know what I mean?

Think about where you have come from. All of us have a story, a veritable novel that He is writing on the pages of our life. You have a LOT to share and to pass along. Someone is waiting for you to share your story and to walk beside them. Welcome to TVC Mentors - the Journey begins!